Intro Fic: "Not Rose, But Fell"

[watch_is_me]

NO LONGER PERSONAL CANON (RETCONNED OUT) 1 NOV 2008

Once upon a time, there was a man called the Doctor. He'd lived for centuries; he'd seen war and death and the faces of friends lost to time and accident and choice. Through it all, he'd survived, selfish and center, the bright star at the heart of his own universe.

The death of Gallifrey, double genocide at his hands, left him shaken. But not, another great selfish adventurer might say, stirred. He kept on running, in his blue box, and he kept on seeing and summoning wonders.



Except for one.

Across the multiverses, his others met her, the Rose in the rough. They found a kindred spirit, a mirror in human form, a hero as selfish-altruistic-complicated-timey-wimey-ball-of-stuff as they were.

He never did. In his Ninth regeneration, he travelled alone, the wound of the Time War raw but healing in his hearts, the rough edges it had rubbed into him driving potential companions away. That was alright, though; that would go away; that would change. The Time Lord just needed time.

He thought. Until he was drawn back onto Satellite Five, rechristened the Game Station, for the third time. Until he had to decide whether he was a coward or a hero.

He was alone, and there would be no second chances for the universe, if the Daleks survived. He was alone, and a hero, and he committed double genocide for the second time.

After that, and the solitary regeneration that followed, he forgot about companions. Alone was the only way his Tenth could be, and he became a ghost, a force that appeared and witnessed, appeared and judged, appeared and changed everything or nothing, arbitrary and alien.

When the Family started hunting him, he ran, because that was what he did—but it wasn't enough. They were catching up. For the first time in his long life, he couldn't run fast enough.

So he gave up. That's not how he explained it to himself, of course. He thought, "Outsmarting them." He thought, "Being clever." He thought, "Saving the universe. Again."

He put the Chameleon Arch on, he lost himself in the pain, he stored the stranger, harder part of himself away in the hands, seconds, minutes, hours of the watch. John Smith stepped out of the TARDIS into 1913 and made his way forward, into life and time and light and love. The TARDIS threw itself out into time, preprogrammed, set to go somewhere, anywhere, to hide the second heart of the Doctor away from the Family forever.

Except it was found, epochs later, found and wrenched open by those curious hands the Doctor had always loved so well. Human hands took up the watch and opened it; and, after so many years of imprisonment, with the body that had been half of him long dead and gone, the Time Lord took possession of this second-best substitute.

It was like regeneration, and nothing like it. It hurt, hurt, hurt, and there were foreign memories to override and subdue, biology to rework from the very bottom levels up. When it was done, he was himself again, his Tenth regeneration, the man who had lived and not lived through his destruction of the Daleks and the human race. But, under that, he was also someone else. Someone human, someone whose memories and self had not fallen entirely before the invasion of the Time Lord.

He didn't think about that. He didn't wonder why he suddenly began to see the long life that stretched out before him (even now, with so few regenerations left) with wonder and a new mixture of gratitude and apprehension—why some of the things he could do, old things, occasionally seemed so novel and surprising. He didn't wonder why Earth felt almost like a home (it always had, hadn't it?) and why he added new places to his regular Earthly haunts, places that had never had any particular appeal before. He didn't wonder why there were times and places he avoided, studiously, superstitiously, as though they could hurt him as much as could visiting the far, humanless future he had helped create. Why sometimes he went to those times and places anyway, and watched a building from far off, a family, a home, a workplace, a woman getting into a vehicle and driving away, a man whose face looked so familiar.

It let him live. It put some distance between his present self and the past that even he could do nothing—nothing yet, maybe someday, maybe, watch the possibilities and never lose hope—to change. It put some distance between his mind and his thoughts and the drums.

They had beaten and grown stronger throughout his millenia in the watch and now they came and went, the drums, unpredictably, terribly, memories of prison, memories of helplessness, memories of remembering war and the deaths of civilizations because there was nothing else to do but remember, memories of two beating hearts boiled down into the tick-tick-tick-tick of minute and second hands and the need to lash out and be self and whole and action and more than mechanism.

He takes on companions again, now. They need him, some of them, and he needs them. They keep him from the drums and from the worst of the old mistakes and from tangling up in the complexities of his own internal, jury-rigged, injured continuity. Most days, they keep him running on time.

Comments

ooc:

[not-from-mars.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Jasper? You rock. This is a really interesting way of reworking things.

Re: ooc:

[watch-is-me.livejournal.com]

Let's see if I can get it to work! I love transformation stuff, so the Human Nature eps made me go, "WATCH I MUST USE YOU." I also wanted a Doctor who could go both harsher and human-er than the canon one lets himself--so, memories and drums! And this way, if he ever meets the Master they can be all like, "DUDE, yeah, the drums, I know!" And then form Wyld Stallions and time travel for rock 'n' roll.

[paradoxlost.livejournal.com]

I love this. The idea of the drums related to the captivity of the watch. It opens up new ideas for the Master's drums too. They where never mentioned pre-Yana. (I think, there's a big gap in my canon)

[watch-is-me.livejournal.com]

I don't think they were, either. And, hello, yes, giant canon gaps! I know nothing prior to New Who (except by osmosis) and haven't yet watched Season 4.

savagestime's had the drums related to the Time War in her fic—a kind of Time Lord PTSD, which is also a neat idea. But, I thought, Lord, years and years in captivity, these fellows are so *busy,* what would it do to them? Drums, mayhap!

Now I have to learn how to write potentiallyviolentslightlyhuman!Doctor .-.

[paradoxlost.livejournal.com]

Ooh. At the end of season 3 already, keep it up :)

Yeeeeaaahhh. It's a struggle really, god knows what possessed me to have a drumless Master. Seemed a good idea at the time but I can't remember why. He's currently getting himself a gangsters moll on SWS. O_o

Try checking this out: http://thatsortofman.livejournal.com/profile
An interesting slant on the Doctor, damn shame the mun (whoever it is) hasn't kept him up. my Master interacted with him once or twice, very enjoyable.

[watch-is-me.livejournal.com]

Yep! I'm through 3, about to start on 4 (and Torchwood). Met the Master, and I approved :D Lord, he was much...sillier than I expected him to be. And slash-ier!

Well, he likes the ladies. Especially masseuses, and arm candy? His relationship with Lucy, that was disturbing o_o Abused companion syndrome :\ And, yeah, it's hard to integrate a deviation into the canon version of a character and still come off true. But I think it can be done!

Hrm. Mine'll be nicer XD But I think he'll balance on the edge of wrath more often than canon Doctor, yeah. Always when he could excuse it as "righteous" or "proactive." And have a few more doubts about himself, which may make him choose different companions.

[paradoxlost.livejournal.com]

That whole story arc was the slashiest one of the whole series. Including the ones with Jack. My theory is that RTD is a grubby little slash-junkie fanboy. And good on him ;) He seemed more silly as the PM. Once he'd shed the disguise, I found him far more batshit and Masterful XD.

I think both Timelords like the ladies, even if the Doctor does shy away from it. My guy... I felt I had to have him flirt with women to stay ooc. But my heart is sadly all for those theta/koschei fics (OTP blah blah) and speculations to have him act on any flirting.

Yeah I figured as much with your guy, but I thought it an interesting perspective on a darker Doctor. I so wish I'd though of it. (Well I did, from dalek_bugnuts universe, but it was WAY too crack-y to work in RP) My Ten can be a right arse sometimes. You're already doing a great job.

[watch-is-me.livejournal.com]

I like the fact that DW/TW seem to *anticipate* the fans on that—it's like they *know* the slash *will* happen, yea or nay, so they just go right in for it. None of this pretending the characters don't notice how obsessive they're being about each other.

What, the Doctor, like the ladies? Oh, I'm sure he picks his companions entirely gender-blind ;P Yeah, the pairing def. seems canon-supported. Strange to think of a relationship where the Doctor would be the sane/calm/grounding one >_>

Yeah, I'm too polite to go evil!pup too well. But, yes, Ten *has* to be an ass, sometimes—he's Ten! The world revolves around him, y/y/mfy? Eh, hope I'm doing alright, yeah. He's much harder than any pup I've played before .-.

[paradoxlost.livejournal.com]

It seems the researchers/writers are well aware of sites like LJ. Not just the 'official' gen. fansites. I think it's enlightened really. Why would aliens have the same morality as humans?

(I meant IC above regarding the ladies, not ooc :s) Ooh, sane and grounded? Heh. I kind of se it as a constant power struggle, like in some marriages, yet still being the only ones who can treat each other as equals. So many theoriets on that one.

Ten is PAINFULLY hard to play. For too many reasons, rudeness, compassion, lack thereof, unpredictability. I once encountered one who just constantly went on about bananas and didn't seem to know anything about the Master. I was kind but it was excruciating. Having said that, I'm not just being kind here. You're a) brighter (I know his mun) and b)a damn good writer!

[watch-is-me.livejournal.com]

*waits to be Discovered by the BBC :P * And that far in the future, too—why in heaven's name would sexuality be the same? Flexible dancing might be the least of it.

(Ah, okedoke.) I kinda see the Master as the Doctor minus the discipline and the (attempt) at a moral code. He's the pure selfishness the Doctor partially keeps in check. So, in my head, any relationship they have would be a bit parent(not-so-great-parent-rly)/child. And really hella frustrating for the Master :\

\o/ I love to write. I just forget to come up with excuses to do it >_> And, yes, he's so many things, and so distinct about them. Getting them all on needs a checklist or something hell, I may make one, for reference :|

[paradoxlost.livejournal.com]

Exactamundo. Dude.

Your theory actually fits well within my parameters. It would be complex, frustrating and a hoot. Lots of tearing at hair. The master is very Doctor-like at the end of LoTL. When realising he really has been stuffed.

Chacklist good idea. I often trawl through my icons as prompts for tagging, (Now how would he react to that? WTF face, ideal!)

[laser-not-sonic.livejournal.com]

Reading your conversation with the lovely paradoxlost, I just thought I'd put out my own theory regarding the Master's drums.

I think he says at some point in SoD or LotTL that they chose him as a child? Something to that effect. Anyway- the drums are a psychic disturbance, but when Gallifrey still stood, with the Matrix intact and all the Time Lords alive, the combination of all their psychic presences and the grounding effect of the Matrix was enough to ensure that the drums didn't get really maddening. Just a faint background noise in his mind, maybe occasionally irritating or confusing, but nothing to rant on about.

But then there's the Time War, and all that psychic power is wiped out of existence, and suddenly all the Master can hear is the drums- there's nothing to block them out anymore, and suddenly they are enough to drive him to madness.

That's not articulated as well as it might be, but that's my general idea.

[watch-is-me.livejournal.com]

He does, when he looked into the Schism, I think it's called. See, this is where my lack of Classic!canon prevents me from speculating much on Gallifrey goings-on—but, yeah, that sounds like a perfectly valid theory! Certainly, the fall of the mental support system Gallifrey provided seems to have messed with both the Master and the Doctor—it'd be very lonely in your head, if all of a sudden there was *no one* when there'd been *everyone* before.

I think the drums are a lot of fun, because there are all sorts of theories running about. Mine's me fitting it to the Doctor's pet fear—imprisonment and being *stuck* in one place. I'm cheating with canon a bit ;P

And I think you articulated just fine .-.

[hobbit-feets.livejournal.com]

The Untempered Schism, yes. Which, by the way, is a name I adore. Just in terms of how it sounds; it's a very aesthetically pleasing combination of words. I just forgot for a moment there whether that was actually in the show, or if it was a fanon thing I'd heard so many times I thought it was canon.

But ooh, I have to say, I love the idea of a Doctor with the drums. It intrigues me, very muchly. Though my Master... he's not quite sure what to make of it. Whether to go thank the gods, someone else can hear them too! or to be furious that it's no longer just him.

[watch-is-me.livejournal.com]

Nope, it's canon, just got done with those episodes! *oh, Season 4, I will get to you soon, I swears*

I don't know quite what to make of it yet, either! Hee. That's the thing with new pups, I'm still figuring out exactly what his parameters are. I gave him the drums because I thought it would be interesting to see a Nine-ier Ten, one still very tempted to jump from pacifism into violence to reach resolutions. And, with four genocides to his name instead of just the New canon two, he might even be a bit numb to wiping things out. Torn between playing it very safe in situations that could escalate and going over the top again.

Dunno! We shall see!

[hobbit-feets.livejournal.com]

Ah, Season 4. Nothing will ever measure up to the awesome that is Donna. Just you wait.

See, this whole genocide thing intrigues the Master, drums or no drums. And knowing what he does about the drums... he's rather beginning to think of this Doctor of yours as an interesting experiment.

We shall! You're starting the thread in this journal, ja?

[watch-is-me.livejournal.com]

Hee. I anticipate with anticipation! Yes.

UH-OH. HIDE, Doctor!

I am. I'm at work right now, so I'll have it up in an hour or two, when I'm off and can give it some actual thought .-. Where should it start? I mean, they're from AUs, so it has to be some kind of multiversal deal?

[hobbit-feets.livejournal.com]

Muahahaha...

Hrm. Honestly, when I'm doing just an independent, journal-based rp that doesn't have to work in with a game or a community or anything, I kind of gloss over stuff like that. Because I'm that lazy. Though if you wanted to put it at some kind of multiversal nexus, that'd work too.

[watch-is-me.livejournal.com]

Alright, random planet accessible by TARDIS is go, then! Give me a few mo's, here... Is slowthreading a'ight? I'll be in and out this evening.

And if I get all stagefrighty and screw up, I 'pologizes ahead o' time. Ten's a downright difficult fellow to play! *ruffles up Ten's hair—he's cool, though*

[commodore-jln.livejournal.com]

Oh, totally. I'm used to doing threads that take ages anyway; I'm in no hurry. And I'll be in and out as well, so it works out.

And totally fine. I like to think I'm quite a chill person, so pray don't worry yourself. No way to get better if you don't practise, after all.

[watch-is-me.livejournal.com]

OMG LOOK I MADE A POST.

Finally .-.